The Science of Lust vs Love: What's the Difference?

TLDRLust and love are distinct emotions experienced in romantic relationships. Lust is driven by physical and sexual attraction, while love is characterized by emotional bonding and closeness. There are four signs that differentiate lust from love: connection, use of 'we' language, self-disclosure, and influence on each other. Lust declines over time in all relationships, but it can be reignited by doing new and novel activities, adding surprise and mystery to the relationship, and engaging in arousal-producing activities with your partner. Love is the glue that keeps long-term relationships happy and strong.

Key insights

💖Lust is driven by physical and sexual attraction, while love is characterized by emotional bonding and closeness.

🨍Connection, 'we' language, self-disclosure, and influence on each other are signs of love, not lust.

🤗Lust declines over time in all relationships, but it can be reignited by doing new and novel activities with your partner.

💯Adding surprise and mystery to your relationship can rekindle lust.

😏Engaging in arousal-producing activities with your partner can transfer that arousal to the relationship.

Q&A

What is the difference between lust and love?

Lust is driven by physical and sexual attraction, while love is characterized by emotional bonding and closeness.

Can lust be reignited in a long-term relationship?

Yes, lust can be reignited in a long-term relationship by doing new activities, adding surprise and mystery, and engaging in arousal-producing activities with your partner.

Why does lust decline over time in relationships?

Lust declines over time in relationships because the newness wears off, and couples become more familiar with each other's behaviors and quirks.

How can surprise and mystery be added to a long-term relationship?

Surprise and mystery can be added to a long-term relationship by doing unexpected things for your partner and engaging in activities that are new and interesting.

What are arousal-producing activities?

Arousal-producing activities are activities that generate a sense of excitement and adrenaline, such as exercising together, watching a scary movie, or going on a roller-coaster ride.

Timestamped Summary

00:00Lust and love are distinct emotions experienced in romantic relationships.

10:38Lust is driven by physical and sexual attraction, while love is characterized by emotional bonding and closeness.

15:33Lust can be reignited in a long-term relationship by doing new and novel activities with your partner.

13:33Adding surprise and mystery to your relationship can rekindle lust.

14:27Engaging in arousal-producing activities with your partner can transfer that arousal to the relationship.